Home > Bargain > Teachers Pet – S/T

Teachers Pet – S/T

Smog Veil Records, 2008

Well, what do you want me to do, huh?  Do you want me to ignore this kind of stuff?  I don’t see how.  There’s the Amazonian half-naked woman standing front and center that, even though she’s not paying attention to me, I’m sort of afraid of her.  Then there’s the poor chap who is getting strangled by a dog leash.  Actually, perhaps he wants to be strangled by a dog leash.  As they say, you don’t know until you try.  What I probably won’t try no matter what are the bright pink skivvies that guy is sporting in this encounter.  All in all, when flipped to this record in a dollar bin on the west coast I felt like I was intruding on a scene I had no business seeing.  And yet, since the price tag was right, I considered myself obligated to pick the record up and stick it in my seedy, lower rung of my CD tower.

So wait a minute, what has any of this to do with the music?  You would think that every song had the words ‘obey’ or ‘submit’ in it, but it turns out this record is by an old punk band from Ohio.  Teachers Pet had a very short stint in the late seventies doing a pretty good Damned impression except with keyboards and, er, erotic record covers.  All songs were originally recorded in 1979 and yet no album was released at the time.  Therefore, this record is essentially the first full length release of a band that had disbanded 28 years ago!  Truth is, it’s a pretty good collection of old punk even if you’ve never heard of the band.

Teachers Pet consists of four guys in striped shirts that deal out some raw, straightforward punk that was typical in those days.  The wavering keyboard intro on “Don’t Need You” certainly isn’t found too often in early punk, yet it became an integral part of the song once the band started thrashing around during the verse and chorus.  “Hooked On You” is more along the lines of the aforementioned Damned influence, and its sense of infatuated immediacy no doubt made it the obvious choice to declare as the band’s one and only released single at the time of their existence.  The cheerful rocker “Meet Me at the Hot Dog Stand in Half and Hour But Don’t Tell Your Dad” has a title that was lengthy before all the indie artists got clever with such maneuverings thirty years later.  As the record reaches the halfway point, the band breaks into a few pretty good covers like the Sex Pistols’ “Lonely Boy” and “I’m Henry VIII I Am”, which was made famous by Herman’s Hermits.  With some solid live tracks thrown on the end, this turns out to be a very enjoyable record that kicks out in less than an hour.

Needless to say, this is likely a one and done release for the old punk band unless they’ve got a slew of B-sides they’ve been holding out on us.  However, that really is up to the band themselves.  A few of the original guys have recently gotten back together and are currently touring in Ohio … and only Ohio.  If the masses in Ohio want it and the band still has some steam left in them, who knows?  Maybe we’ll get another record from these old punkers after all.  While we wait, if you’re looking for a taste of old school punk but can’t be bothered with some of the make shift reunion tours, take a trip out to Akron, put on a striped shirt, and watch out for tall women.

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